Dating in the District

Well guys, now I’m a Cali girl in the DMV (DC – Maryland – Virginia for my Cali folks) and I’m getting acclimated to the new scenery. I can’t say that I just got here because I’ve been in the District since September. Besides, I feel like a native Washingtonian. I yell at the tourists who are on the Metro for the first time, “STAND TO THE RIGHT!” and I officially own a pair of foldable flats. Don’t worry, I still refuse to cross the street without the right away and, when I’m out, I make sure to teach them how to Dougie. Still, I find myself learning the lingo so I’ll probably be official in May. Oh yeah, and I’m dating in the District!

I, like many Cali women, thought all of the good men were clustered on the east coast because of the 3 sexy and intelligent “but-he-lives-too-far-away” men from the east coast that I met one summer. Don’t get me wrong, the Chocolate city is as cocoa sweet to the eye as they say, but dating isn’t what they cracked it up to be. I swore every man walked around in a business suit and had at least a Masters in Swag. In the town of the young professionals, I just KNEW my team would be full of DC’s finest by the end of the 1^st semester. WRONG! It’s the same sh!t, but in a different toilet. Or a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet (for the optimist like myself).

The good and bad that come with dating are no different in DC than they are in LA. Instead of the movies or the beach, it’s the local Happy Hour or a stroll through one of DC’s 7,000 parks.  If he’s trying to be original he’ll ask “Have you seen the monuments at night?”….”Yes, I have. At least 6 times”

Maybe it’s because I met some amazing men in CA or because I haven’t been here very long, but DC men are just like the ones in L.A.; they’re men. Depending on who you are, that could be good or bad, but the truth of the matter is that Y-chromosomes don’t change just because he’s been sipping the Potomac. I will say that the people, in general, are distinctly different, but dating in the District doesn’t seem to be going any better or worse than it was in L.A.

Yeah, but he's the President.
Their dating is a little different.

Doesn't this sound familiar? You meet him and you’re vibing for a bit. He’s a great guy, but after “hanging out” you realize why you would never marry him. Why waste time after that? We can keep “hanging out”, but….it’s not you, it’s me.

Full disclosure, I have not been on a lot of dates, but I’ve hung out with a few guys. (FYI, that’s code for a date that doesn’t turn out the way you planned. “Oh…we just hung out.” If I give a side Christian hug at the end, then we just hung out. If he brings a rose after riding in on a white horse, then it was a date…lol) Still, I’ve gone out enough to know that this is going to be an experience. The good part is that I’ve learned 2 very important lessons so far.

1. Nobody in DC is from DC. They are all from somewhere else even if it’s just VA or MD.
2. Be VERY careful of the men who actually ARE from DC. They are a special breed. If he has never been outside of DC, then proceed with caution if you must.

Prime example…DC native #1: So I met this guy at an event. My bad for picking the hoodest, but sexiest guy in the room who was also the only one NOT in a suit. Nevertheless, after 2 TEXT conversations and a Facebook add he tells me he wants to “lay” with me. Hold up! Really? That’s why DC has one of the highest AIDS/HIV rates in the nation. Then he tried to punk me into coming over by saying I was scared. Heck yeah I’m scared! I don’t even know your last name and you want me to come into a non-Metro-accessible part of Maryland? That sounds like the beginning of a CSI episode. Get out of here.

It hasn’t been ALL bad though. I did meet a nice guy who has a great conversation piece. Can you believe that someone can actually keep my attention? Just friends, but at least he’s giving dating in the District a good name….wait, does that mean we’re dating? [Deep sigh]…here we go again…lol.

Well DV readers, it seems this is going to be an experience, but I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

P.S. My friend convinced me to give up the Twitter strike so now you can follow me @DynamicVirtue. 

America I Am: Inspired

I experienced America I Am: The African American Imprint (AIA) in Los Angeles for the first time and I was inspired. The first artifact forecasted my experience to be one I had never felt before and I was not disappointed except by the fact that I did not have enough time to see all of the artifacts. Luckily my 2^nd trip a few days later afforded me the time I desired. Though 5 hours is not needed to complete the exhibit it took 5 hours to feel all I had hoped to experience in my second visit. This was prior to attending the “America I Am: A Conversation with Tavis Smiley and Cornel West” at the National Geographic Museum in Washington, DC.

I heard the AIA exhibit was coming to DC and something in my soul began to move much like a metal fragment as it senses a magnet is near. By attending the conversation with Dr. West and Mr. Smiley, I heard what I expected. “Over 300 artifacts that have never before been assembled together…12 galleries…4 theatres…” I did not expect Dr. West and Mr. Smiley to entice me to visit AIA again.

Photo by Carol H. Feeley

Mr. Smiley explained that he assembled this exhibit in order to share the history of Black people with America and to show the world what W.E.B. Du Bois saw when he asked, “Would America have been America without her Negro people?” Dr. West explained how the AIA exhibit highlights the grand achievements of Black people and was sure to point out that the election of President Barack Obama is a part of this exhibit, but is not the only substantial achievement of Black people. Displayed.  “He is A fulfillment, he is not THE fulfillment [of the dream]”. Still, when Mr. Smiley mentioned that The Doors of No Return, Frederick Douglass’s clothes, Rosa Parks’ arrest card and Mohammed Ali’s boxing gloves were sitting across the street from us something inside of me moved. I felt as though that magnet was directly beneath my feet and I knew I had to experience AIA again.

Like Nothing You’ve Seen Before

For those who have never seen The Doors of No Return I caution you not to underestimate the encounter as they are the doors through which slaves journeyed to America. You may find yourself imagining the hands, feet and soul of your great, great grandfather gripping the hinges as he is dragged through to the other side. As I stood in front of the doors this is all I could think of.

Imagine being able to see freedom with one swivel of your head and to feel a strain in your neck reminding you that you are not walking in the direction of freedom; knowing that at some point you will have to turn to face your future. Visitors are asked not to touch the doors with their hands, but I encourage you to touch it with your hearts. It is important that we do this, so when we are called to vote for legislation, which disproportionately imprisons young African Americans, we will know the anguish in their hearts as they walk through their “Bars of No Return”. Do not be surprised if you feel that strain in your neck again.

The next time you loose your phone and feel your connection to the world is lost you may begin to thank God that your detachment from society and your family is only temporary. Do not be surprised if you feel a strain in your neck. The next time someone mentions the name of a black leader you are unfamiliar with, do not be surprised if you feel a strain in your heart telling you to research their accomplishments. Once you pass The Doors of No Return and enter into the exhibit there is no return to ignorance. Do not be surprised if you feel a strain in your neck.

The HIStory of African Americans in America may start with slavery, but the legacy begins in Africa, as does the AIA exhibit. With each step you begin to understand why America would not have been America without her Negro people.  The AIA exhibit displays the strength of the Negro people. This makes the exhibit empowering for all people, but to see strength in the foundation of America makes the exhibit encouraging for all Americans.

Throughout the conversation Mr. Smiley stresses that this is an exhibit we have to take our children to. I agree. The exhibit is uplifting and this is experience is imperative for Dynamic Virtue readers. We are the leaders of tomorrow and we must understand how we are designed to achieve greatness for our people. If slavery did nothing else for African Americans, it bred us to be the best our genes could produce. Every African American alive carries the blood of the 50-80% of slaves who survived the Middle Passage and the 2/3 that survived the plantations. The AIA exhibit will challenge every negative stereotype young people believe about themselves and we must do this before those images have an opportunity to take hold of our imaginations. As you continue on the AIA journey you will understand how slaves literally and figuratively built America. This journey will make you feel patriotic and galvanized.

The AIA exhibit compiles the African American imprint in a way that demands more than the typical semester, page or paragraph in a history book. It is an interactive journey to remind guests of how influential African Americans are to America. The conversation with Dr. West and Mr. Smiley made me understand why I will be visiting the exhibit once again. The AIA journey is like a sigh of relief after 300 years of hard work and a moment of appreciation after a job well done. It encourages me to keep going even though I know there is much work to be done. That feeling may be why I am drawn to the exhibit once again. Some times the weight of my liability slows me down, but as I walk through the AIA exhibit I experience relief.

In the black community there are those among us who are jaded. Some feel the struggles of our ancestors were in vain and believe the best days for African Americans are behind us because the “game” is rigged against us.  There are also those who feel “we have arrived” and the work is done. For those of my brothers and sisters who can say, “I Am one of those people” I urge you to visit the AIA exhibit as it will change your mind.

Your “I Am Unable” will become “I Am Queen Nzinga.

Your “I Am Silenced” will become “I am Dizzy Gillespie”

Your “I Am Lost” will become “I Am American Religion”

Your “I Am Impoverished” will become “I Am Madam C.J. Walker”

Your “I Am Confined” will become “I Am Frederick Douglass”

Your “I Am Jaded” will become “I Am Able”

When you finish your journey through America I Am: The African American Imprint, you will be able to say with confidence, “America, I Am!”

Submitted to FreshXpress January 2011

Dynamic Dialogue Concerning America’s Next Chapter

Tavis Smiley is a public figure that has captivated the minds of Americans for years as a talk show host, an author, a political commentator and a philanthropist. He is well known for his “State of the Black Union” dialogues which discussed relevant African American issues with key community leaders. The discussions were aired on C-SPAN and recently the duo teamed up with Nationwide Insurance to bring together a diverse panel of leaders to discuss America’s future in “Americas Next Chapter” (ANC). ANC was broadcasted live on C-SPAN from the Lisner Auditorium at The George Washington University. It brought together liberals, conservatives, journalist, political commentators and many more for a lively discussion of what America’s next chapter had to offer. The event was, as anticipated, vivacious and insightful.

The night lent itself to some “shining stars” and among them was John S. Chen, chairman of Committee of 100. Mr. Chen gave an interesting perspective as it pertained to taking America “back” to greatness. Though the discussion in nature centered on the things America was doing wrong, Mr. Chen cautioned us not to beat ourselves up too much. Many of the evening’s comments suggested China would out perform the US in the coming years and we should be preparing ourselves to compete with China on a global scale. Mr. Chen noted that being able to have such a discussion with a diverse crowd and free from fear of oppression is not possible in China. He highlighted the attitude difference between Chinese and Americans, which has lead to China’s success, but reminded everyone that China has its problems too. He said the Chinese people are hungrier for success, but implied that there is type of political and social tension in China, which is not present in the US. He also encouraged America to not only look at Asian countries as competitors, but also to consider other countries, such as Sweden and Germany.

The diversity of the panelist should be highlighted, but it is also what brought mild scrutiny from spectators. When speaking with Mr. Smiley after the show a question was raised regarding the absence of an African American female. The suggestion for Mr. Smiley was to cast an African American woman in future panels: to put a “sista” on the stage next time. In full disclosure, The Intersection also wondered about the lack of representation of young people and health professionals. Nevertheless, the product of Mr. Smiley’s panel discussion may have laid many casting critics to rest. There may not have been a “sista” on the stage, but minority women were well represented by Maria Teresa Kumar, executive director/co-founder, Voto Latino. As a “sista” myself I noticed a moment when I did see a sista on the stage. It comes up in the video segment at 1:34:45 when Maria Teresa Kumar gives her critique of Tea Party leaders.

The effervescent Dr. Cornel West, Princeton University professor and author, sparked the discussion of the Tea Party as he commented on racist elements in the movement. Dr. West resonated the idea that there should be an emphasis on the poor and working class in America if we plan to move toward greatness. He referenced, possibly strategically, Dr. Martin Luther King and Dr. Dorothy I. Height who focused on the less fortunate as well. He expressed the lack of urgency to help the poor and working class by American politicians and by President Obama as “moral constipation”, which comes from “The right and the good being stuck and you can’t get it out.” Dr. West’s compelling arguments and enthralling cadences have been known to excite a crowd and he did not disappoint his constituents. In fact, he may have gained a Twitter following with one of the panelist: Arianna Huffington.

Another crowd favorite was Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post. Though she expressed her admiration for Dr. Cornel West’s “poetic” discourse, she was not at a loss for witty comments throughout the night. Ms. Huffington is self-proclaimed as a manifestation of the American dream and says she sees it slipping away because we are in danger of loosing the middle class. She sited statics, which report the US as 10^th in terms of upward mobility and ranking below France. She proposed taking Dr. West’s ideology of helping the poor and expanding it to the middle class. Ms. Huffington was sure to express her optimism in the American compassion, but warned that America could become a third world country if we do not help the middle class.

The evening was full of fascinating discourse and innovative solutions. The ideas ranged from decreasing government transparency to using immigration as an economic booster. Maria Bartiromo, anchor of CNBC’s Closing Bell with Maria Bartiromo; David Frum, speechwriter for former President George W. Bush and founder of FrumForum; Dana Milbank, lead political columnist for The Washington Post and David Brody, CBN News chief political correspondent, made the evening’s discussion very dynamic.

I am honored to have represented The Intersection as an ANC blogger for the event. To Mr. Smiley, PBS, C-SPAN, Nationwide Insurance and the host of other ANC contributors, thank you for all the work you did to make this happen and keep up the good work. Discussions like these help to compose a positive future for America’s next chapter. 

Do You See What I See?

Many times in society we have a rare opportunity to see the manifestation of our hopes and dreams. The unfortunate thing about time is that it passes without taking the breath it took from you. As quickly as the image has come it is gone and is considered something you saw once upon a time. Essentially, the culmination of who you are has been intense preparation for that moment and your experiences are predetermining factors for the emotion that image has created, but, unfortunately, time waits for no man. 

Little did we know in 1814 that a small wooden box would completely defy the concept of time. Pictures and photography have allowed us the unique ability to capture the moments we see in our head. Much like the eye, it is essentially the culmination of who you are that prepares you to take the perfect picture, but it is your experience that predetermines the emotion a photograph creates. The other day I had the honor of stepping inside of the lens of a soul I’ve never met and it was my experiences that created this verbal manifestation of a stranger’s place in time. Thank you for sharing this picture with me.

The beauty in this photo is a collision of so many beautiful things. I see a delicate balance between aspects of life that the entire world labors to preserve. The environment is a treasure that nations have created policies to protect and children have been the focus of developing and well developed countries alike; they are the common thread between us and we would die to protect them. In this picture I see the utopia of both of these entities. The protective arm of the young girl mimics our desire to protect both entities, but it is the joy in her face that expresses the benefits to society if we succeed. 

The harmony between these two entities is so fluid that you would never assume the magnitude of strife and debate that centers around the preservation of them. The delicate touch of the leaves on the young girl’s face makes it seem as though nature is playing in the same game that the two children are playing. Maybe it is “Hide and Seek” or “Tag”; who knows, but I dare not interrupt. I dare not disturb the innocence created in the scene. It even feels wrong to know that the girl is looking at you; to know that your presence may have disturbed them already. It makes you want to say, “Don’t worry about me sweetie. Just keep playing.” 

As an adult I have learned that time waits for no man and every moment that passes I am relieved that this image is still here, but nervous that it will end at any moment and become my past. Can’t you imagine her turning to look at you and then swiftly turning around the tree leaving behind a fainting giggle? Maybe she did, but because of photography I am able to stare at this moment of time until my experiences manifest another interpretation. For these few moments in time I can relish in my defiance of time. Time waits for no man, but who says it doesn’t wait for a child?